if it is to be, it is up to me

in which our plucky heroine is frustrated but remains determined...

Tomorrow will be all about making more phone calls, also about getting things prepped in the workroom. Many friends will be off at either Egils or at Embers & Ambrosia, so I will instead spend the weekend focused on how much of various work projects can be moved forward or maybe even completed... Seems like taking advantage of comparatively cool weather to do enameling is sensible with 1 large and 2 small enamels on the to do list. 

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~ pretty plaid ~

Earlier this month, I was naughty and bought a few yards of this cotton flannel fabric. Why? Because in the cold weather, I love wearing flannel shirts, and it is really difficult to find flannel fabric I like. I saw a teal plaid flannel shirt in a catalog online, but since RTW is not a good match alas (for my little teapot figure), making my own is the only viable option. Plus turquoise and chocolate brown and cream plaid will look well with over half of my current and planned future garments. (teal and chocolate and indigo oh my)

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Today had a delightful phone conversation with Mikki, and discovered that we both enjoy reading aloud. I shared this Marge Piercy poem, the same one I read to the folks at Crafternoon last week. We both cried good tears.

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I make almost all my own clothing, save for compression socks (which can't be homemade) and undies. Recently it occurred to me that the nether undies would be pretty simple to make, and I've been developing a pattern, based on what already fits. However, cotton lycra strips for leg and waist bands (that I am using instead of elastic, which is not only spendy, but also  develops a nasty pilly texture over time) has been a bit of a challenge to get right. Once I figured out the technique, the only issue is solving for suitable dimensions, since the length of the bands needs to be smaller than the circumference, and those dimensions will vary according to how stretchy/resilient the band fabric is.

My current wearable muslins use cotton lycra ribbing for the bands, and while the leg bands work really well, I've had to add a second yet shorter piece above the initial waistband to pull it in further, in order to avoid "droopy drawers". Maybe if I could access cotton lycra fabric that had more than a 5% lycra content it would work better? Still, the cost of materials for these is so very much less than RTW, since I'm still using the closeout knit from Girl Charlee, and once all the details are sorted out the pattern can be added to my set of TNT regulars.

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Gah! back to square zero... Yesterday I was brave and phoned the law office recommended to me by a friend to start dealing with inheritance/estate stuff. Left my number and information so they could call me back. Today got a call back and since my status is complicated?? and not really what they specialise in, they instead gave me two other potential law office contacts. Hope making the phone calls get easier with repetition. (At least one of the websites has sample questionnaire forms, which gives me a hint of what kind of information to have prepared, and what words to use.)

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May SMART goals (x=extra)

#	THINGS MADE	THINGS FIXED	THINGS GONE
1	heraldic fern painted	added pea trellis	greenwaste bin
2	XP2 sun protection	planted Seckel pear tree	recycle bin
3	heraldic plaque	Juliet tomato planted	recycle bin
4	spicy peanut sauce	marigolds planted	-
5	3 prs undies	pear branchlets weighted	-
6	-	turtleneck to Eames top	x
7	x	x	x
8	x	x	x
9	x	x	x

today's gratitudes-
- I was brave yesterday and did the thing I have been putting off for months. Unfortunately it needs to be done again, but at least I made the effort, and future phone calls should be at least slightly easier...
- This video is so silly!
- Next week there will be some free craft technique videos online; I plan on watching the one about making soft sculpture mushrooms

Time of Isolation - Day 1767

Monday music and miscellany

in which our plucky heroine constantly cogitates...

Almost a thousand days, a long time, for some more than a lifetime, and so many lifetimes now gone...

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Fifty-three years ago...old words still true...may at least some of us live to see the dawn...

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What You Missed that Day You Were Absent from Fourth Grade

 

Mrs. Nelson explained how to stand still and listen
to the wind, how to find meaning in pumping gas,

how peeling potatoes can be a form of prayer. She took
questions on how not to feel lost in the dark.

After lunch she distributed worksheets
that covered ways to remember your grandfather’s

voice. Then the class discussed falling asleep
without feeling you had forgotten to do something else—

something important—and how to believe
the house you wake in is your home. This prompted

Mrs. Nelson to draw a chalkboard diagram detailing
how to chant the Psalms during cigarette breaks,

and how not to squirm for sound when your own thoughts
are all you hear; also, that you have enough.

The English lesson was that I am
is a complete sentence.

And just before the afternoon bell, she made the math equation look easy.
The one that proves that hundreds of questions,

and feeling cold, and all those nights spent looking
for whatever it was you lost, and one person

add up to something.

"What You Missed That Day You Were Absent From Fourth Grade" by Brad Aaron Modlin from EVERYONE AT THIS PARTY HAS TWO NAMES copyright © 2016 Brad Aaron Modlin.

※※※

well this is a new effing weird development... been just about five months out from my excision surgery on July 6, and while once I recovered the site looked odd but felt more or less normal, now I am getting peculiar stabby pain from that area, like an injection or an insect sting. Did this for two days in the last week, and I figured oh, body being weird but then it stopped. Now it has returned. The light touch of my clothing against my skin there is sharply painful, also if I barely run my fingers across the area, or if I twist my arm towards my body. Deeper pressure also has the same painful sensation. Doesn't appear to impede movement (other than movement also sets off the pain. I guess I should be grateful that this sort of thing has not accompanied any of my other surgeries. My online research is not particularly helpful other than to say sometimes there is pain if nerves are growing back, and sometimes it resolves and sometimes it does not... I phoned the Drs office and hopefully will get a message back at some point with more information.

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Spending time inside my head thinking about various longer range projects I want to pursue in 2023.

Artwork projects. (I want to do more with printmaking this coming year, and I also want to complete all the assorted scribal art projects I have committed to.)

Sewing projects (because always, but slower and with more care and details, and also The Raincoat Project, if not finished by the end of 2022).

Tinyworld projects. (Finish the houses that belong on Tansu Terrace, and also make an interchangeable room box for taking photos)

Housey projects. (Build a chook house. And also continue work on the fruit trees and creating and planting garden beds. And find someone to deal with the broken tree in the front yard. And find someone to take all the detritus to the transfer station. And The Roof, and The Window Awnings)

※※※

Halfway done with the the skulls for a second skull lace collar, this one is intended for dear Aelflaed. The crocheting is getting faster, which is good. I have looked around online to see if there might be any other crocheted things I might want, but the only things I have seen that appeal are some botanical motifs, and floral motifs from Attic 24's blog, which might be fun to turn into hat decorations.

※※※

November SMART goals (x=extra)

#	THINGS MADE	THINGS FIXED	THINGS GONE
1	skull brooch	vacuum heat intake	broken porch planter
2	salsa verde	new pinback on flower	recycle bin
3	pale grey long janes	26# quinces picked	recycle bin
4	trim for long janes	black embroidered slip	recycle bin
5	large tray quince paste	add turtleneck to tie-dye	yard waste bin
6	6 jars quince jelly	pruned persimmon	x
7	11 jars Awesome Sauce	reattach vest buttons	x
8	4 jars vanilla rose quince syrup	x	x
9	black long janes	x	x
10	8 jars Awesome Sauce	x	x
11	x	x	x
12	x	x	x
13	x	x	x
14	x	x	x
15	x	x	x

today's gratitudes -
1. I can walk over 10K in a day, and not feel completely flat
2. The purple corn husks are dry, so I can play with them soon...
3. Today while out walking I saw the better part of a parking strip covered in clusters of Chinese chestnut husks that looked eversomuch like drifts of soot sprites, though not black. Made me smile.

Time of Isolation - Day 999

words on Wednesday

in which our plucky heroine reads aloud...

This morning was the start of a different enrichment project. My aged parents live on the other coast, so even safely distant visits are not an option, and since interactive art activity via Zoom has not been a success, I am reading aloud to my mother. Today we started reading Gerald Durrell's delightful memoir "My Family and Other Animals"... I had forgotten what an excellent writer he is, and his superb use of vocabulary conjures up a time and place that provides a wonderful respite from our current situation

The reading is, as well, an aide-mémoire... we first read the novel decades ago when I was a schoolgirl, we visited his zoo on the isle of Jersey (at my instigation) on a family trip to Great Britain in the late 70's, and my parents and I actually spent two memorable days on Corfu as part of our trip to Italy Yugoslavia and Greece after my belated graduation from college...

※※※

~ 100 day creativity challenge - day 65 ~

Nandina gets a new pair of boots...
since Xanthy appropriated the first pair I made

※※※

ANTIDOTES TO FEAR OF DEATH
by Rebecca Elson

Sometimes as an antidote
To fear of death,
I eat the stars.

Those nights, lying on my back,
I suck them from the quenching dark
Til they are all, all inside me,
Pepper hot and sharp.

Sometimes, instead, I stir myself
Into a universe still young,
Still warm as blood:

No outer space, just space,
The light of all the not yet stars
Drifting like a bright mist,
And all of us, and everything
Already there
But unconstrained by form.

And sometime it’s enough
To lie down here on earth
Beside our long ancestral bones:

To walk across the cobble fields
Of our discarded skulls,
Each like a treasure, like a chrysalis,
Thinking: whatever left these husks
Flew off on bright wings.

※※※
 

beauty in the time of isolation - day 222:

water truly is life

※※※

Yesterday I did manage to get a few things done, most particularly getting the bird netting on the new salad table protectors properly stapled down. Nothing like finally managing to get my morning started by seeing a gorram squirrel inside the salad table garden! An hour or two with the staple gun and some cut up plastic lids and the winter greens should be safe...

※※※

October SMART goals (x=extra)

#	THINGS MADE	THINGS FIXED	THINGS GONE
1	6 jars dilly beans	wheelie bin scrubbed	yard waste bin
2	3 jars vanilla port pears	east window repaired	old window trim
3	Xanthy	replace screen handles	yard waste bin
4	3 japanese books	washed two screens	recycle bin
5	Xanthy hat	moar apple pruning	yard waste bin
6	Xanthy flower skirt	reattached phone cable	recycle bin
7	6 jars St Clements marmalade	repair kitchen shade pull	x
8	6+ jars Awesome Sauce	taller salad table barrier	x
9	8 jars tomato sauce	kitchen window screen	x
10	Xanthy beaded bag	refurbish cabinet latch	x
11	5 flavor eggplant cooked	mesh barrier anchored	x
12	Nandina boots	x	x
13	x	x	x
14	x	x	x
15	x	x	x

today's gratitude - past adventures that remain as vivid stories in my memory

Careful observation

in which our plucky heroine takes effective actions...

I was able to go out (in the rain) this morning, and remove the piles of windfall apples, and the remaining grapes from the vine, into the yard waste bin for pickup today. The apples (which I tackled first) were not a real problem, as I could see no insects around them, the rake has a long handle, and raking them onto the burden cloth kept me quite distant from the damaged fruit.

That accomplished, I turned my attention to grapes. Some of the grape clusters were obviously vacant of wasps/hornets/yellowjackets, so I carefully cut those away and removed them. There were not many insects out in the strong rain (unlike yesterdays perfect autumnal weather, when simply standing adjacent to Feral Grapevine was hazardous), but I could see that some of the grape clusters had at least one inhabitant feeding.

Observing and thinking, my hypothesis was that the exposed grapes, being drenched by rain, had been safe to remove, but the ones more sheltered by leaves had Danger Bugs; it seemed like removing the leafy umbrellas might cause the grape clusters to be abandoned. And so, an experiment: it was possible to carefully and gently cut away the overhanging leaves a bit at a time, without causing any change in behavior, but once the grapes were exposed to the rain, the little buggers flew away. (And they flew away OUT of my yard, which leads me to believe that they are not nesting here)

Following the experiment on the one bunch, I then carefully repeated it for each of the remaining grape clusters, all now disposed of in the yard waste wheelie bin. It was interesting to see a few insects returning after grape removal, them seeming baffled by the loss of their sugary treats and then flying away... Next year I will do some pruning away of sheltering foliage earlier in the year.

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~ 100 day creativity challenge - day 56 ~

"Footwear" is the challenge of the week, and this pair of clogs is my response. Carved wooden soles, and uppers made from a scrap of red kidskin. Tiny Rag Doll Nation (on Ravelry) has a two month long weekly creative challenge, this is week 4.

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I love this poem "The Mushroom Hunters" by Neil Gaiman. First heard it read by his wife Amanda Palmer, then found the illustrated version, with drawings and text lettered by Chris Riddell, and now just found the video...

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beauty in the time of isolation - day 185:

Most of the backyard apples became windfalls in the high winds before the toxic smoke rolled in, but there are a very few still on the tree. This is one of the best.

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September SMART goals (x=extra)

#	THINGS MADE	THINGS FIXED	THINGS GONE
1	Gwen sunhat	removed oven door	old underwindow
2	dozen EQUITY prints	clean one bedroom screen	dead cold-packs
3	tiny deer hat	clean studio screens	yard waste bin
4	Gwen knit cardigan	10# plums processed	recycle bin
5	Nandina coat	felt cover for exhaust fan	favorite saucepan
6	Nandina boots	doors taped closed	oven door glass
7	Nandina felt skirt	15 # plums processed	yard waste bin
8	Nandina red clogs	some tomatoes dried	yard waste bin
9	x	underwindow foam + tape	recycle bin
10	x	many pears dried	x
11	x	wanda plum pruned	x
12	x	x	x
13	x	x	x
14	x	x	x
15	x	x	x

today's gratitude - My heart is still open to feelings

media Monday - the mushroom hunters

in which our plucky heroine is always grateful that in this world filled with trauma, heartbreak and horror, I have the privilege of shifting my point of view to focus on the positive...

because this world is also full of kindness and thoughtfulness and beauty and poetry..

because science...

☽ O ☾

because flowers bloom even when it is raining...

☽ O ☾

because humor...

☽ O ☾

wishing all and sundry the best Monday possible under the circumstances...

battered but unbowed

in which our plucky heroine tries something different...

Tonight was the first of a six week Thursday evening writing group for cancer survivors that I am attending, and the theme tonight was "creative voice". There are two facilitators and about fifteen women of various ages and stories. I was a tad late to the meeting, after following some less than useful Tri-Met directions, but got there towards the end of "introductions" which went about as those sorts of things usually do.


The most interesting part of the evening was when we were given an assortment of random images of natural landscapes and it was suggested that we simply write whatever came to mind, a sort of free write inspired by the pictures. The image of a lanky cherry tree blossoming against a peeling city wall washed in several colors was my inspiration, and my words quickly filled an entire page in the new journal we had been given.

Once the time for that part was done, the next suggestion was to see if there were parts of what we had written that called out to us, and much to my surprise, these phrases almost arranged themselves:

scarred but subtle beauty
the damp shadow of what was once thriving
blossoming even in desolation
stalwart in continued life

Tuesday tidbits

in which our plucky heroine writes a 6AM haiku...

soft and grey and cool

sweet respite from the day star

temporary june...

Haiku are fun; and this morning, grey and cooler like the "June gloom*" we have not had in several years, was truly a respite. My house is down to 68 now after running the fans for three hours, which will help buffer the afternoon heat.

:::

in the ongoing saga of attempting to figure out where plants will be happy... apparently the Japanese anemone wants more sunlight than it had been getting - moved it to the south side of the front porch, and it has a vigorous new stem and two large clusters of flower buds! Stay tuned for future beautiful blooms... Hmmm maybe planting it in the ground next to the porch for next year would be a good plan?

My two tomato plants, in the planter on the south side of the porch... don't know why they look so different, as they are the same variety, but from two different sources... one is much more robust than the other, the stronger one has three large tomatoes already of good size

Front porch green tomatoes; I may get only a few, but they will be a real treat

:::

Took a break from commission work and made good progress on my black/cream batik rayon popover dress, finished  sewing the 4+ yards of ikat bias edging along the hemline this evening. Though it seems that a dress made simply of rectangles and triangles would be super speedy to sew, it indeed would be if there were not always a myriad of adjustments to make because of using random and adapted materials. Still the challenge keeps things interesting, and sometimes the forced changes generate pleasing new changes...

I am quite liking the strip of plain textured black rayon that was added to the hemline edge, in a sort of lantern line edge band effect to get enough length. Shall remember that option for other garments; in fabric with a good drape, it is a subtle detail. Made an attempt at the "twirl factor" photo, I don't know how other folks manage that image, and my knee made sure to remind me what a bad idea that was, but the volume that the gores add to the skirt is very obvious:

:::

July SMART goals

#	THINGS MADE	THINGS FIXED	THINGS GONE
1	blue tunic for B	chook shade tarp	recycle bin full
2	grey gown for M	-	-
3	linen gown for S	-	-
4	black batik popover	-	-
5	-	-	-
6	-	-	-
7	-	-	-
8	-	-	-
9	-	-	-
10	-	-	-

* June gloom here is not quite the same as the coastal sort from further south, but is more like days on end that are lovely and soft and grey in the morning, with the sun burning off the cool and turning the afternoons hot and sunny.

shadowboxen

in which our plucky heroine takes baby steps to explore the land that lies between nightwalking and whimsey...

Sunday was a trip to Azure Fine Art Gallery, to set up my small portion of the upcoming show, prior to the opening, which coincides with the monthly arts walk in downtown Corvallis. My work is in The Birdcage*, a gallery within the gallery as it were...

This whole "having artwork in a gallery" thing is all new to me; I am rather making it up as I go along. My original intention was to have more pieces completed, however, having just the two shadowboxes really allows the work to stand out in an uncrowded and minimalistic setting. I like that better...

The backdrop here is a vintage silken velvet housecoat that I acquired at a barn sale in upstate New York more than forty years ago, the black velvet riffs on both the idea of garments and on the tradition of displaying precious jewelery on a black velvet background. I included my button crown as a display prop, as an echo to the theme of handwork/whimsey...

The second shadowbox... quite different than the first one, yet obviously part of the same genre. The outer edges of the frame are all decorated with sewing pattern tissue paper, as are some of the tiny hands. Sewing patterns are another sort of map, of a different land hard to navigate without assistance.

The pendant combines sterling silver, copper, and brass in a married-metal fabricated artifact.

This quote is another longtime touchstone of mine, a reminder that nothing loved is ever lost while memory lives...

The vintage glass beads compliment the art, and the pendant necklace is held in place with small wooden constructs painted with fingerprint glyphs

:::

April SMART goals

#	THINGS MADE	THINGS FIXED	THINGS GONE
1	mobieus apron	strawberries planted	bin of twigs
2	sewing tools necklace	-	bin of twigs
3	sewing tools shadowbox	-	-
4	heart in hand necklace	-	-
5	manyhands shadowbox	-	-
6	-	-	-
7	-	-	-
8	-	-	-
9	-	-	-
10	-	-	-
11	-	-	-
12	-	-	-
13	-	-	-
14	-	-	-
15	-	-	-

* from the gallery page:
Bird Cage Series -
Housed within the gallery is a large bird cage for small works, jewelry or single vision ideas that accentuates the idea of “kept treasures”

goals post for 2015

... in which our plucky heroine looks at the distance a year makes...

Last year at this time I wrote: "For 2014 my goal is to believe enough that I will make it through another year that having goals is possible... and with that belief, make progress on the aspects of my life that are the most out of balance." I have made that some progress towards beginning to believe that more years may be possible. It seems that by paying attention to my physical environment, by choosing to improve it, by deciding to live as if there would be a tomorrow, by moving towards a house and life that supports what I want to be doing, my inner life has indeed shifted to some extent.

As far as the eightfold spokes of my life, some progress was made in a few parts, and none at all in others. Last year I wrote: "I need to make progress in 2014 on improving basically everything about my life (except my relationships with family and friends, which is excellent); there are areas which I understand the needed direction and steps, being held back only by my own fears, and there are areas where I have no idea how or even what would make the situation better... Well, needs must take what steps seem apparent, and trust that in time the muddy water will settle and clear

#1 career - only new teaching I did in 2014 was an SCA embroidery class. In 2015 I will teach more stitchery and enameling workshops, and will begin an active approach to more teaching venues

#2 health - in 2014 I went a month without dairy, and found that made no difference other than I became grouchy. went a month without grain and felt much improved. Acquired a pedometer, which is becoming a useful tool. In 2015 I will eat more salads, drink water more, as well as continue tracking walkies. Start a monthly graph to track progress!

#3 personal development/education - in 2014 did none of this, didn't do anywhere near as much sewing as normal even... and didn't learn any new metal or enameling skills either. In 2015 I will complete at least one 6PAC and SWAP 2015, including developing a bodice/blouse sloper. I will complete at least one of the three Craftsy classes, as well as seeing out assistance with bodice fitting. I will explore some way to learn something new in metalwork/enamel. In additon I will prepare at least three or four new artworks for a show in April/May

#4 family/friends - in 2014 this was the only part of my life where I could say: keep on with doing well... In 2015 I have every expectation to be able to say Yep, this is the best part of my life!!

#5 household/environment - in 2014 I completed the "discard 60 grocery bags or the equivalent column of my year long challenge, and have been working with Kaitline on decluttering. In 2015 I will continue the process and begin to organise my supplies, tools and materials, as well as household goods. This is an ongoing project that is going well.

#6 romance/personal relationships - In 2014 I wanted a local companion, and had no idea how to make that a reality. In 2015 I still have no clue what small steps to take, where to begin, and feel more hopeless than ever...

#7 finances - In 2014 I decided I wanted a sustainable income. Not sure what that would be like. Haven't done the math yet. The only thing I did differently in 2014 was to act as general contractor for the Great Orb of Dominion project and the An Tir Crown bid presentation. In 2015 I will do the math to figure out what a liveable income would be, which will help me set new goals.

#8 fun/recreation - in 2014 I attended more SCA events, as well as a few additional non-SCA social activities. In 2015 I will both continue to be active socially and also re-start Crafternoon gatherings once a month

In the aspect of household environment there is continuing effort and useful changes, which I've every intention of continuing to move forward. In the aspect of fun and recreation, I did attend more SCA events this year, and once or twice did something creative just because I wanted to see what would happen and not for work or a specific outcome. I'm hoping to find a way to do more of that sort of playful experimentation. In the aspect of family and friends, my connections remain solid, and there was even a trip cross country to visit my beloved parents on their 60th anniversary. So where last year saw only one of the eight spokes feeling solid, this year there are three in improved condition.

About the other five spokes: personal development/education, career, health, finances, and romance/personal relationships... these are aspects of my life that I'd also like to pay attention to, but have much less of a clue as to what handles to grasp and move to change things. With the changes I worked on this year, the initial small steps were obvious, and could be done in a kaizen fashion. More thought is needed. Action is needed.

I shall have to call that progress, even if not as much progress as this impatient girl would like. Still cogitating on how best to quantify moving-forward-change in 2015...

:::

I follow Terry Windling's blog Myth and Moor, and today she posted this lovely "Bunny Blessing for New Year's Eve", and our plucky heroine just had to share it, wishing for all my dear ones a year to come where the Fox passes us by, and where the Earth springs renewed under our feet:

Now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray to Earth, my soul to keep.
I pray to Wind, for gentle dreams.
To Water, for sweet murmurings.
To Grass, where I will make my bed.
To moss, where I will rest my head.
To blood's Fire, to keep me warm.
To Dark, to keep me safe from harm.
To Moon, to dim her silver light,
so Fox will pass me by tonight.
I pray to Stars, who watch above.
Bless me, and everyone I love.

:::

snow day

in which our plucky heroine, watching the drifting flakes, is reduced to writing haiku...

white dusts gritty wind
snow powders all directions...
glad to be indoors!

Between yesterday and today girl managed to get various perishable preparations dealt with before the snow really arrived... things like an extra half gallon of milk, some fresh greens and fruit, putting the candles and matches out ready to hand, picking up the prescriptions, and swapping the old library books for a new one.

The extra long bus ride to the other end of the city seemed less than intelligent, with the necessity of standing around in the unsheltered wind at 19F for a half hour waiting for the connecting bus. Even with enough layers of wool and fleece that our plucky heroine looked more like a matroyshka doll than ordinarily, the wind is so strong that it ran right through the multiple layers. (shall remember that, and a future coat will include a windblocking layer not just for the torso, but for the arms as well. My SCA kit does a fairly good job at keeping the core warm, multiple layers of wool worked for our ancestors and still work for us. My AnTirian hat (part mongol/part viking) has two layers of dense melton cloth wool, and is bordered with fur, so it really keeps my head warm, particularly if I wear a kerchief tied peasant style underneath. My mittens, naalbound by my dear friend Ariadne, are a good quarter inch or more thick, and dense enough to block the wind, while stiff enough to require removal if anything more dextrous than carrying a bag is needed. Withal, I rescheduled my Sellwood housecleaning job to next week, and headed home...

:::

While often Facebook is more a time sink, today girl found an article posted there that was chockablock full of wise and clever thought. One of the sayings that has been the most painful for me since starting my cancer journey is the phrase "new normal". I liked the old normal just fine... and having all my hardearned progress at building a good life swept away in the fire of illness has been a challenge. When I read "A New Normal: Ten Things I've Learned About Trauma", was almost reduced to tears by words that got right to the heart of what is also true for me...

:::

Look out the front window and see that the snow has changed from powdered sugar to larger feathers of white, and 'tis time to get back to the workroom, and make forward progress on the other assorted self-employment tasks of Roman rivets, and setting the new enamel, and re-sketching the coronet bids...If I get all that done, my reward shall be to also make small progress on the sewing projects, starting with some new pairs of warm wintertime leggings! Girl is a lot more cheerful today, like a Daruma, can push me down but cannot keep me down!!

Japanese art lesson

shunyata : a Sanskrit noun usually translated as emptiness

when I was young there was so much I wanted,
and all I thought I had to offer was the empty place between my legs

now I remember that negative space is partnered to what we notice,
and only when they both are in harmony is it possible to make great art

notan : a Japanese design concept involving the play and placement of light and dark