in which our plucky heroine pokes at another internal knot...
Have decided that going forward will simply DO the artworks that come to mind instead of assuming that what I think of isn't any good. Not everything will please me, but if my gift is to bring things to the material world from the land of dreams and ideas, not doing that is wasting who I am... feeling like a fake and a failure has dogged me for years, and I feel like I have wasted much of my lifetime tying self in virtual knots. Cannot begin to do differently any earlier than right now, So begin.
Yesterday went to the doctors office to try and suss out why I am having this peculiar new kind of deep pain in my lower right leg, lateral, below the calf and above the ankle. Nothing unusual showed up in the exam, and the x rays only showed some very minor calcified phelboliths and no bony abnormality. Usually phelboliths do not cause pain. Only recommendation was to apply warm compresses several times a day, and I am being sent to the vascular ultrasound lab today to hopefully make sure that I do not instead have a blood clot! Which would be terrible and dangerous. But I don't have much in the way of risk factors for that.
...later today: I do not in fact have a blood clot in my crankypants leg. The technician when she told me I could go home, responded to my comment of "I guess that means I don't have a blood clot" by saying "we aren't allowed to diagnose, but people with blood clots need to be admitted... you go home now" Still no idea what is causing my leg pain, but at least I am not about to die of stupidly ignoring symptoms.
keep making small if steady progress in reclaiming my life, in completing or at least beginning on the myriad unfinished or not-even-started projects... this one is quite small, but useful - a set of a half dozen mesh laundry bags, suitable for masks, lingerie, or my compression socks in their journey through the washer.
At the beginning of the pandemic I purchased some from Amazon, but their flimsy mesh didn't even last a year! whereas the older one I have is at least 20 years old. I figured to combine the better type of materials from the older one (robust nylon mesh - thanks to Seattle Fabrics for their good advice and extensive line of good supplies) and the idea of using a tab of elastic to keep the zipper end in place while in use (the one good idea from the poorly made Amazon product) Fingers crossed that these will hold up well over time, and I also now have enough additional mesh and other ingredients to make up another half dozen...
today's gratitude - another day with cooler air, another day with clean air outside, and a house full of art materials calling my name.
Have decided that going forward will simply DO the artworks that come to mind instead of assuming that what I think of isn't any good. Not everything will please me, but if my gift is to bring things to the material world from the land of dreams and ideas, not doing that is wasting who I am... feeling like a fake and a failure has dogged me for years, and I feel like I have wasted much of my lifetime tying self in virtual knots. Cannot begin to do differently any earlier than right now, So begin.
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~ creativity challenge ~
>
after speaking with a worried friend, I was inspired to create this little artwork-of-healing for them, using my new NeoColor II crayons. Actual size 2½ x 3 ¾ inches.~ creativity challenge ~
>
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Yesterday went to the doctors office to try and suss out why I am having this peculiar new kind of deep pain in my lower right leg, lateral, below the calf and above the ankle. Nothing unusual showed up in the exam, and the x rays only showed some very minor calcified phelboliths and no bony abnormality. Usually phelboliths do not cause pain. Only recommendation was to apply warm compresses several times a day, and I am being sent to the vascular ultrasound lab today to hopefully make sure that I do not instead have a blood clot! Which would be terrible and dangerous. But I don't have much in the way of risk factors for that.
...later today: I do not in fact have a blood clot in my crankypants leg. The technician when she told me I could go home, responded to my comment of "I guess that means I don't have a blood clot" by saying "we aren't allowed to diagnose, but people with blood clots need to be admitted... you go home now" Still no idea what is causing my leg pain, but at least I am not about to die of stupidly ignoring symptoms.
※※※
keep making small if steady progress in reclaiming my life, in completing or at least beginning on the myriad unfinished or not-even-started projects... this one is quite small, but useful - a set of a half dozen mesh laundry bags, suitable for masks, lingerie, or my compression socks in their journey through the washer.
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June SMART goals (x=extra)
June SMART goals (x=extra)
| # | THINGS MADE | THINGS FIXED | THINGS GONE |
| 1 | baby clutch ball | otterface needlebook | paper recycling |
| 2 | Nandina leather vest | cleaned iron soleplate | rogue garlic plants |
| 3 | baby blanket | dollar store mini table | yard waste bin |
| 4 | miniature sofa | single bulb garlic strings | recycling bin |
| 5 | Nandina Chinese food | repair broken bowl | - |
| 6 | garlic scape pickles | 1 trim attached shower | x |
| 7 | 6 mesh laundry bags | x | x |
| 8 | x | x | x |
| 9 | x | x | x |
| 10 | x | x | x |
| 11 | x | x | x |
| 12 | x | x | x |
| 13 | x | x | x |
| 14 | x | x | x |
| 15 | x | x | x |
today's gratitude - another day with cooler air, another day with clean air outside, and a house full of art materials calling my name.
