wishful Wednesday

in which our plucky heroine is grateful for connection...

Hard to fathom that May is almost over! Hoping to get more accomplished tomorrow, as it will be cooler, and I have a long list of to-do items for the next few weeks. I wish the world was such that I could have in person time with the folks I love, but am grateful that we have electronic connection options. I miss the days when we could gather and work on projects and tasks together, or cook meals, or preserves for the pantry. 

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~ columbine ~

Maybe I ought to do a tinybook of seasonal flowers, since I never tire of finding them to photograph... It'd be a pleasure to go back through the years of my photo archives and pick out possibilities

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Haven't gotten as much work done in the last few days, but have spend a lot of time on the phone... I found out on Sunday (via a phone call from one of her aides) that my elderly auntie had a very bad fall on Friday and was in hospital with a broken right hip and a damaged right shoulder. According to the doctors, surgery is not a possibility, so she is being discharged to a rehab facility, I still don't know where.

Since all this is taking place thousands of miles away, there is nothing effective I can do other than wait for more information. So, in the interest of keeping as much of our small family circle informed, I then phoned my sister-in-law, and also my sister. We do our best to keep connected by phone, and sometimes video.

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Ugh. Last night I had a horrible nightmare that started in analog Powells with seemingly innocuous shopping for charming trinkets, miniature animal figurines and containers for cooking spices, then couldn't find my friends and decided to take the bus back to where I'd come from, but I got on the bus and realised I'd forgotten my mask back at the bus stop and then the driver took forever to respond to my signal to stop so I could exit and try and get back to where my mask was, and let me off the bus somewhere sketchy and when I asked where to catch the bus back told me the routes didn't run that way, and I'd need to walk back... and it wasn't safe and there were sketchy boys in cars and dark woods and ravines and no residences or shops and it was nighttime and then I woke up. The transit route was part of the Dreamlands I'd not visited before (I've been to analog Powells before...) The tone of the dream was menace-impending rather than run-and-hide, and self-caused danger rather than external-imposed. The embedded outer layer of meaning is obvious to me, but I am not really up for currently teasing apart the inner layers. Indeed, when I took a nap later in the day, because 4am = not enough sleep, I woke up 20 minutes later after another nightmare.

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I've been dropping in on one or two of the MakingZen 2025 free crafting video presentations this week, despite the annoyance of not being able to watch them on my laptop, but only on the phone?! I've downloaded instructions for a mushroom softie, for a sashiko "mindful mountain" biscornu, and taken notes on some additional techniques. There is a box construction video tomorrow I am hoping to see and download the instructions for. The interesting thing is being able to watch and learn from teachers in other countries, I'm grateful that they have a free (if limited access) option, as well as a spendy permanent access option, and enough folks seem to sign up for that one that they can (hopefully) compensate the teachers well...

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May SMART goals (x=extra)

#	THINGS MADE	THINGS FIXED	THINGS GONE
1	heraldic fern painted	added pea trellis	greenwaste bin
2	XP2 sun protection	planted Seckel pear tree	recycle bin
3	heraldic plaque	Juliet tomato planted	recycle bin
4	spicy peanut sauce	marigolds planted	greenwaste bin
5	3 prs undies	pear branchlets weighted	-
6	pendant for Cricket	turtleneck to Eames top	x
7	2 more prs undies	x	x
8	x	x	x
9	x	x	x

today's gratitudes -

- my friend Jen Walker introduced me to the music of Richard Shindell
- managed to figure out how to watch the MakingZen videos (only possible on my mobile phone, not on laptop?!?)
- kombucha culture is working well, creating new scoby layers and converting tea syrup to probiotic drink over the course of several weeks
- a good long phone conversation with Mikki
- instructions for a sweet mushroom softie with pleated gills - looking forward to making at least one of those...
- My pal Ursel just got offered a job ♡

Time of Isolation - Day 1773

keep on keeping on

in which our plucky heroine does her best to cope...

Tuesday I wrote a eulogy:

Mom's determination and bravery facing all of fortune's turns, and various joyful or challenging choices that life brought her way, have always been an example. Her tender heart, her eye for the whimsical and weird oddities in this world, her ongoing expression of creativity through art and especially through writing, have always been an inspiration. Her years of caring for her family in all the places we found ourselves, of drying our tears and encouraging our growth, these are only some of the ways she made our world better. For myself, I would scarcely be the person I have become without her clever fingers that taught me at an early age so many of the handwork skills that have brought so much enjoyment into my life, without her believing in my worth and ability before I ever did, for the challenging and the cherishing... without her, our story is ever missing a vital voice, and all we can do is our best, to take her myriad gifts forward into the future.

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The neighbor cross the street asked if she could harvest some of the pretty pink elderflower blossoms to make floral syrup - of course I said yes! A day or two later she brought me a small jar of the prettiest syrup to share...

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Who knew?  How the Pre-Raphaelites Became Obsessed with the Wombat

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in the sewing room: I have been making progress handstitching a new pair of long fingerless bike-riding gloves, after my initial toile of the AC pattern was proved useful, particularly with a bit more arm length and a bit less finger zone width. Also, the Star Wars cosplay tunic I made for SR earlier this year has returned here for alterations, and I will be making up a lighter weight tunic for summertime wear (linen instead of wool)

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Began an initial scanning through the three envelopes of Mom's writing, and found some autobigraphical fragments from my father mixed in there as well. There is a family timeline of location (and a few events) year by year, which is something I personally have wished for.

shes gone

in which our plucky heroine says goodbye...

3/4/34 - 5/18/24

Beloved intrepid Mom of our plucky heroine, who always had my back, and taught me ever so much more than I can say...

Not the best Thursday

in which our plucky heroine gets a not quite the worst phone call...

My SIL phoned this morning to let us know that Aged Mother has suddenly started doing much worse overnight (probable diagnosis aspiration pneumonia). Sister and I saw mom on Zoom just yesterday as is our usual on Wednesday, and she was about how she has been for many weeks, not very verbal, but obviously aware during the time she was not dozing off.

Now she is struggling to breathe, with low pulse ox numbers, waiting for antibiotics to be delivered, and on occasional morphine to ameliorate the fear that accompanies not being able to breathe fully. I am glad that hospice has been already part of the care team, and grateful that there are resources so that we can have someone there to sit with her all night, while my brother and SIL are at home.

It is hard to be so far away; what can't be cured must be endured... I don't know if this is the end of the long goodbye or not; the goodbye I have been saying to Mom for a number of years now, as she descends into dementia. It has progressed to where it is affecting her body as well as her mind. I miss both my parents every day; in the Before Times, we talked on the phone several times a week. Dad died just two years ago on May 12th

I'd been looking back through my own archives here, thinking about what I want to write about for Mother's Day this Sunday, and thinking about her stories and how she shaped the woman I have turned out to be. It may turn out to be a eulogy, it may not, we cannot know the future, but I suspect that her tale is ending soon...

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saw this while out walking yesterday... I thought it might be for "excellent" but now I am pretty sure is is "E for Endure"

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This essay: The Age of The Wendigo, raises some important points and questions. I found it worth reading and food for thought...

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May SMART goals (x=extra)

#	THINGS MADE	THINGS FIXED	THINGS GONE
1	4 tiny books	half front yard mowed	yard waste bin
2	10 tiny books	more front yard mowed	recycle bin
3	tiny footstools	replace cloudlight bulb	dead rosemary
4	acorn bowls	clean large paper lantern	yard waste bin
5	-	-	-
6	x	x	x
7	x	x	x
8	x	x	x
9	x	x	x

today's gratitudes -
1. good memories of family adventures, the traveling and the learning opportunities over many years, the thought and effort that Mom and Dad made to share information, humane values, and the world at large with us to the extent that they could manage.
2. good fortune, to be able to have good care for mom when home care became no longer possible...
3. good family communication, despite our differences we are on the same page in this respect, for how we are able to do the best we can for Mom, now that Dad is no longer in the bright world to look out for her and look after her.

Time of Isolation - Day 1403

Monday music and miscellany

in which our plucky heroine begins various things...

After a weekend marred by two visual migraines, today I am feeling much improved, and able to start working on samples for the next enameling project. I am collaborating again with Mr Dawson, who has asked me to do champlevé enamel on the two small shield shaped pieces he engraved in amazingly fine detail. Imagine this design on a shield only an inch tall total:

The blue waves and green Laurel wreaths will be done in transparent enamel, but as there is no I've not found any really good heraldic red transparent enamel (for use on silver), those portions will be opaque red. So, today was all about making assorted samples on very tiny discs to try all the options in my shelves of enamel colors, and also to start experimenting with how to achieve the additional details needed. I'm inclined to use opaque white 325 enamel for that. I'll be doing a bit more sampling tomorrow, to see if using lavender oil instead of water for the medium gives me cleaner lines on the sea beast's "mane". If we are satisfied with those results, I will be working on the actual pieces later this week.

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Steady progress on making a set of tiny books for the solstice miniature swap, using an assortment of low denomination USPS postage stamps, that all have really pretty fruit artwork. My intention is to also create a tutorial, so as to encourage other folks who may want to make miniature books. It is fun, not impossibly difficult, and unlike enameling, uses ordinary household supplies!

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Additional incremental progress on the refurbish the bathroom project - I realised that wooden turn buttons to hold the under sink access panel in place would be fairly simple to make. The first one has been carved and painted, to hold the edge near the tub closed, and one more under the center of the sink should be all that is needed. I'll do that one tomorrow, then attach them..

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"Halley Came To Jackson"

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bah! my overhead kitchen light isn't working; it had been very occasionally intermittent once or twice in the last several months. I can't tell if it is the switch or the fixture. It isn't the fuse box, since everything else in the kitchen has power and is still working (thankfully!)

I'm in the middle of actually working on enamel sampling for the upcoming job, and not very keen on instead researching how to diagnose electrical problems (which will require tools I don't own or know how to use) Plucky heroine is grumpy, and simply moved a table lamp into the kitchen temporarily. It is all rather soft focus and atmospheric there now, which is less than ideal for any activity that requires using sharp objects. I shall have to plan any actual food preparation to occurr during daylight hours.

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Month SMART goals (x=extra)

#	THINGS MADE	THINGS FIXED	THINGS GONE
1	red enamel samples	-	-
2	-	-	-
3	-	-	-
4	-	-	-
5	-	-	-
6	x	x	x
7	x	x	x
8	x	x	x
9	x	x	x

today's gratitudes -
1. Yesterday we had a 90th birthday zoom for my mom. My siblings were there in person, with their spouses and my youngest nephew, while I and the older nephews zoomed in from the west coast. It was bittersweet. I guess I am grateful that I had mom for as long as I did, and 90 is a venerable age to achieve, even though dementia marrs her elder years. I hope she enjoyed the balloons, and the cupcake, and the visit.

2. Instead of walking just around the blocks, I detoured through the alley, and was delighted to see flowering quince tumbling over the fence from someone's yard, the orangey-pink flowers always make me happy. There are various spring bulbs here and there, and this morning a tree just chock full of robins. It is still cold and raw and wet most of the time, but spring is on the way.

3. I have a moveable table lamp, which normally sits on the dining table, so I was able to put it in the kitchen when the kitchen light stopped working. Not ideal, but better than nothing. I have it pointed towards the ceiling, to bounce the light and get as much general illumination as possible. Might try and get a brighter LED bulb as an additional temporary improvement until I can solve the problem.

Time of Isolation - Day 1340

a sigh of relief...

in which our plucky heroine catches her breath...

Today was a better day as far as getting information about mom... I am now on the list of folks that get text messages from her hospice nurse, so there was a message today of how the vital signs are all within her normal range, as well as a very cheering photo of Mom smiling. Plus today Sister Gigi and I were able to have the delayed video chat with her, and she (Mom) was more interactive than she had been for a while. There was even one or two actual sentences of more than one word.

Such are the tiny victories we grasp and cherish. Perhaps since she is now on thickened liquids (difficulty swallowing is a sign of physical ongoing decline) the increased hydration will help her overall well being. It does my heart good to see her though, needs must on video, and today's "visit" showed me a flash of Mom still there, somewhere inside her tangled neurons

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It was so cold and blustery today that I was thinking a cozy dinner of meatloaf, mashed potato, and cooked greens would be just the thing. I found this one person meatloaf recipe and it turned out wonderfully; the only modification I made was to add about a little less than a half teaspoon of gelatin along with the other dry seasonings, and to use my own homemade awesome sauce for the glaze. It made enough for two meals...

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I cleaned the louvered doors of the utility closet, both the fronts and the back sides. (the backs of the louvers never show, when the doors open they are folded to the inside) Those inner sides were quite extremely thick with dust, as they had been untouched since I moved here (clears throat... nineteen years ago); in places the dust was too solidified to be vacuumed away, so application of cleaning spray bottle and dustcloth, and in some corner spots q-tips did the trick. To my defense I point out that unless one purposefully detaches the doors from their guide track, there is no access to their inner sides...

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~ something new ~

Somehow when the weather turns wintery, I am once again filled with the desire to knit.... This project has been an on again off again change it up and start over again one for a long time. When I realised I had again miscalculated the dimensions and the gauge, I could only toss it back into the box of yarn for a while.

But then I took out my copy of Twisted Stitch Sourcebook with the thought that adding some panels to the body and neck edges would be a great way to salvage all the knitting. The body, knit crossways, already had several vertical panels of double moss stitch aka box stitch along with the garter stitch, so some additional varied texture would seem intentional.

I had never actually tried the twisted stitch technique before, but it turned out simpler to do than I imagined. It helped that I chose a four stitch eight row motif, but I am well on the way to making single and doubled panels to either stitch in place, or in the case of the center back, steek and then stitch in place. At this rate, I will be able to start on the stripey sleeves before too long - once I design the multicolor stripe patterning. It will be a joy play with colored pencils, and turn some of the skeins of Lettlopi into a good wardrobe component.

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I've an idea to turn the shrunken wool pinafore into a long wintertime vest. It was accidentally run through the laundry quite a few years ago, and at knee length is too short to serve as a pinafore. If, however, it were split down the center front and the raw edges bound, and some kind of buttons or toggles were used to fasten the front... that would be a rather quick and easy way to add yet more useful warmth to my everyday life. I might even be tempted to add some embroidery. 

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February SMART goals (x=extra)

#	THINGS MADE	THINGS FIXED	THINGS GONE
1	Jedi tabard	wall storage bathroom	recycle bin
2	5 jars marmalade	wall storage utility	recycle bin
3	tiny camel print	dark of night neckline	-
4	superb owl traybox	3 separating zippers	-
5	grey acorn hat trim	bathroom access hatch	-
6	pinch pouch	x	x
7	x	x	x
8	x	x	x
9	x	x	x

today's gratitudes -
1. a warm dinner on a cold day: homemade meatloaf glazed with Awesome Sauce, cooked greens, and homemade mashed Yukon Gold potato.
2. I did manage to get outside for a while just to take a walk. And while it wasn't the most pleasant day out, I didn't get wet, and there are a few yards where unknown trees are starting to flower, and here and there some parking strips have bright crocuses flowering. Get some crocus bulbs for next year??
3. Leslie very sweetly shared a number of pages on the Discord about how to take care of rhubarb. Apparently from what I read, I have been doing it all wrong all along! It wants lots of sunshine, and lots of rich well drained soil... I may try transplanting the poor thing yet again, this time into a big planter pot in the sunshine, with lots of compost and worm manure mixed in...

Time of Isolation - Day 1324

miles to go before I sleep...

in which our plucky heroine walks over five miles...

After having the rear tire on my bike fail entirely yesterday afternoon, I realised how very much I depend on the ability to ride around as a vital part of my current lifestyle. So, today I decided to walk to New Seasons to see if they had any turkey thighs still available... It is over a mile there from Acorn Cottage, and nope, they were all out, but the butcher told me they would be cutting up some more, and putting them out tomorrow, and I could call and have them hold some for me! I think I would rather ride over there on Monday, when the weather will be drier.

All that said and done, and after the long walk home again, I phoned the bike shop near the library. I never knew it was there, down one of the side streets, but they could take care of the problem today! So another long walk, this time rolling my bike along with, and I left it there to be repaired. Walked around for about 20 minutes in the damp afternoon, and was able to return home on two wheels! I will need to reattach my rear baskets, which I removed in case that was helpful for the repairing of the bike, but again, I use those baskets All The Time, even if only for carrying the bike lock and cable...

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wondering if fusible web, normally sold for use in the sewing room to bond fabric using heat, would work to dry mount a poster to foam core board. Since finding that pretty much no one does dry mounting any more, have been considering DIY alternatives that do not involve using spray adhesive. And I have several lengths of fusible web in with my notions... (next step is to experiment with a sample, to be sure it does not melt the foam core)

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~ Advent Swap Day 9 ~

my tiny gift of the day was two very wee beads, one sparkly glass, and one I think is agate or jasper. The glass one makes me think of some of the MCM glassware, and may become a miniature flower vase.

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Mom is doing poorly, and is now on supplemental oxygen, as her O2 level was in the low 80's. When Gigi and I had our video on Wednesday she had a bit of a cough, and was not really engaged with listening to us. Apparently her "cold" has become worse. She is not really wanting to eat (though she will if Barb visits at lunch and feeds her), which is an ongoing problem and part of why she is in hospice care.

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December SMART goals (x=extra)

#	THINGS MADE	THINGS FIXED	THINGS GONE
1	7 jars quince	kitchen plumbing	old plumbing
2	dried pears	heat pump installed	old furnace
3	dried persimmons	return vent vanes	high pitched whine
4	-	bedroom register	-
5	-	bike flat tire	-
6	x	x	x
7	x	x	x
8	x	x	x
9	x	x	x
10	x	x	x
11	x	x	x
12	x	x	x
13	x	x	x
14	x	x	x
15	x	x	x

today's gratitudes -
1. Had a lovely video chat with my Mud Bay pals tonight, which always leaves me feeling connected and cared about. Kestrel, between dancing about being a "butterfly dragon", asked me what we will do once December is over and we are not opening a little gift every day. I told her that was a very good question....
2. I was able to walk over 13K steps today, and while I am tired, I am not destroyed.
3. My bike tire was fixed, at the very reasonable price of $23 for a new tube, valve, and valve protector. I was able to walk over to the local shop just about a mile and a quarter away, near the library, and just drop it off as a walk in, and it was ready less than a half hour later. Apparently December is not their busy season. It felt wonderful to be able to ride it back home, even though it was quite drizzly out.

Time of Isolation - Day 1255

throwback Thursday - documentation or it didn't happen

in which our plucky heroine is still sick...

The outside temperature has begun to moderate, just a bit, if temps in the mid/high 90's can be called that. Still, next week looks more like highs in the 80's and some cooler nighttime temps, which will be very welcome indeed!

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~ time it was ... ~

Zuma Beach, 1962... It wasn't a dream, or a false memory. We moved to California, and Zuma beach was my favorite, was the one with the horse sculptures we could clamber atop. I have been trying for years to track down evidence of these horses, but the internet has kept its secrets. This image in one of the photo albums from my childhood, currently in storage along with a few other bits from my parent's home. (One of the projects I want plan to do this winter is to spend some time doing bookbinding and create a set of small blank albums to hold the images, photos, and xeroxes as memory books.)

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My throat is slightly less sore thank it was a week ago. No fever. Still coughing, still having some digestive issues. Still really really tired and falling asleep for hours during the daytime. If I hadn't had a negative PCR test I would be worried that I have COVID. I have been sick now for 16 days. If I didn't know that partial loss of the ability to smell was sometimes associated with other viral infections, I would be terrified right now. I have had multiple days now with minimal ability to detect odors I normally enjoy. This is not a symptom I have ever had with things like colds or flu in the Before TimesI have not had any "symptoms" in my nose at all. I do have some post-nasal congestion, in addition to the 2+ weeks of sore throat, but my actual nose and sinuses are dry.

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August SMART goals (x=extra)

#	THINGS MADE	THINGS FIXED	THINGS GONE
1	bed socks	driveway window cleaned	recycle bin
2	more bed socks	-	-
3	-	-	-
4	-	-	-
5	-	-	-
6	x	x	x
7	x	x	x
8	x	x	x
9	x	x	x
10	x	x	x
11	x	x	x
12	x	x	x
13	x	x	x
14	x	x	x
15	x	x	x

today's gratitudes -
1. I have more bits of my past life because photos found
2. it took me three days, but I finally got the batch of pot stickers made up and frozen 
3. sun dried pillowcases

Time of Isolation - Day 1149

just one damnthing after another...

in which our plucky heroine is quite under the weather...

Yesterday night I returned from my trip to the east coast to see my Aged Mother for what is probably the last time. It was worthwhile, if difficult and heartbreaking. As if that wasn't enough, I began feeling unwell on Wednesday night, and had a sore throat and dry cough on Thursday, which worsened as the day went on and it was time for the flight home. Which was marked by my using up almost an entire bag of Ricola lozenges, and by my decision to seek medical care first thing in the morning.

Which I did, going to the immediate care popup where I had both a strep test and a PCR test. Strep was negative, but we will have to wait at least two days for the PCR results. I really hope I do not have COVID, but I feel dreadfully unwell. As today moved on, I felt worse and worse.* (gross bodily description at the end of the post, so folks can avoid it but so I have a record of it)

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~ my travelin' shoes ~

it seems to be a thing, to take a photo of ones feet on the distinctive carpet of Portland Airport, so here are mine...

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While I was in Franklin, I got up each morning and walked for about a mile or two. The plants, trees, and birds there are very different than at home. I was particularly pleased to see and hear cardinals. I didn't do much while I was away other than have a daily visit with Mom for a few hours each day. She is so frail now, and the dementia is increasing. She did enjoy (I think) seeing the photos I brought over each day, images from when she was a young adult and from early in their marriage when we siblings were little children. There was, in the afternoon when I returned to my brother and his wife, time for some good talking with them. I really really miss being able to have conversations with my Mom though. Dementia is the long goodbye, and she and I will never talk like that again in this lifetime. I could tell she was glad to see me though, and I wish that it was easier to visit her, the distance from one side of the continent to the other is daunting.

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August SMART goals (x=extra)

#	THINGS MADE	THINGS FIXED	THINGS GONE
1	-	-	-
2	-	-	-
3	-	-	-
4	-	-	-
5	-	-	-
6	x	x	x
7	x	x	x
8	x	x	x
9	x	x	x
10	x	x	x
11	x	x	x
12	x	x	x
13	x	x	x
14	x	x	x
15	x	x	x

today's gratitudes -
1. Tamra picked me up at the airport and drove me home, and brought me both a water bottle, and two freshly baked chocolate chip cookies!!
2. I can set my phone alarm to ring every six hours, so I can take medication in a timely way
3. The kindness of flight attendant Terri, who recognised me from my outgoing flight the week before, and re-seated me on the trip back so I could have a bit more space! (no passenger in the middle seat on either flight)

Time of Isolation - Day 1137

.
.
.
.
.
. * Tried to sleep after breakfast, and began coughing so hard that I barely made it to the commode before I lost my entire meal into the bowl. This is not good. After washing up, I managed to go back to sleep. I woke up midafternoon with my left eye dripping yellow goo and oozing! It has not looked like that or felt like that in the morning at my 8am medical appointment. Called the consulting nurse hotline, who strongly advised that I be seen within four hours. So, back I went to immediate care, where it turns out one is not supposed to be seen more than one time in a single day. I don't know how they wrangled it, but I did see the same PA, and now have two additional prescriptions, one for a week of antibiotic eye drops, and one for cough supressant perles. I feel as if the stressful trip took all my bodies reserves away

so mysterious...

in which our plucky heroine is baffled, if delighted...

found two large file folders of Mom's writings underneath a pile of fabric! I have put them aside on my nightstand to look through once I've finished the taxes. Hoping for treasure... The odd thing is that I have zero memory of ever seeing these folders before.

Opened them up for a glimpse inside, and there are pages and pages of longhand cursive journal pages from early in her married life, travel tales from when they moved to Germany so my dad could work on the space shuttle, as well as drafts for some of the poetry and essays that were lost forever with the missing manila envelopes. Treasure indeed!...

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~ japanese quince ~

Today really began to feel like springtime.  I opened the sliding windows in the middle of the day to allow fresh air in the house, and even though I forgot about the thermostat, the heat stayed off. I have been taking repeated breaks from dealing with taxes, and going for short rambles around the neighborhood. The Japanese flowering quince over near the alley garden is in full bloom, and all kinds of small bulbs are doing the same. I really want more small bulbs in my front yard, some grape hyacinths, and blue and white stripey crocus, and some of the narcissus that are yellow and orange...

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progress on the taxes today was steady... I was able to locate the missing data in other more stable records, and have set up a new administrative accounts book and reciept collection box. I do wish that the gummint didn't think that simplifying the forms only consisted of putting half the amount of information on each page while also doubling the number of pages. It might look less "intimidating" to some people, but it also means that one must print out twice the number of pages, at our own expense. Long gone are the days when either they mailed us the needed forms, or at least we could go to an IRS office and pick up the needed forms. Once I have filled in all my federal, state, city, and transit forms, I will then have to not only copy those, but also make copies of assorted required pages of the federal forms to then send in with my state forms. I think of the dead trees and sigh. Needs must, and taxes are inescapable.

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~ 100 day stitchbook project - day 85 ~

Day 85/100 (page 18) Inspired by some of the pages I've seen posted online, I thought that adding an assortment of discs would be fun. Easy to cut out by simply holding a five cent piece against fabric and snipping around it. I may change out some of the discs depending on what other scraps of fabric I find. And I have ideas about an overlay of embroidery in more than one layer, which will have to be experimented with...

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speaking of embroidery... I was contacted by someone about doing a bit of hand embroidery to create a label for the quilt they made for their grandchild. We had a delightful conversation, exchanged text and photo messages, and I think I can make it work with the materials she has available. I've never done a hand embroidered commission, indeed all my embroidery not for myself has been done for love, so I am not really sure how to estimate a price. I guess I will find out how long it takes "per letter" which will be useful in the future!

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Speaking of taxes... this is a charming story: "Two Certainties in Life"

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April SMART goals (x=extra)

#	THINGS MADE	THINGS FIXED	THINGS GONE
1	page 15	-	jars to Mud Bay
2	custom Tullia daypack	-	recycle bin
3	page 16 and 17	-	extra plant pots
4	-	-	yard waste bin
5	-	-	-
6	x	x	x
7	x	x	x
8	x	x	x
9	x	x	x
10	x	x	x
11	x	x	x
12	x	x	x
13	x	x	x
14	x	x	x
15	x	x	x

today's gratitudes -
1. a multitude of hardcopy files of my mother's writings found !!
2. avgolemono - so good, so warming, so lemony!!
3. warmth on a spring day between rains, so many flowers

Time of Isolation - Day 1031

weekend whatnots

in which our plucky heroine notices more signs of spring...

There were purple crocus flowers, and here and there some narcissus in peoples yards earlier today when I went out for a bike ride. Now, this evening, the rain has returned, and is bucketing down most noisily... time to go spend an hour or so at the sewing machine, working on the raincoat project.

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~ 100 day stitch book project - day 58 and 59 ~

Day 59/100 (page 12) - a bit of running stitch geometry helps define the corners... 

Day 58/100 (page 12) - added the calyxes and stems to the persimmons, and a bit of couched stitching instead of the running stitches curve. I'm glad I decided to make one of the persimmons red, it'd be a lot less lively with all of them just orange..

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I've been putting in a small bit of time every day on some small star books for the Advent swap later this year, and have them partially finished. I still need to add the internal text and any cover decorations. I plan on the Marge Piercy quote* inside the books, and using the little sun and moon blocks to print squares for the front and back covers. When these are done, I will have completed twelve of the many tiny gifts needed. At this rate, I will hopefully be finished well before October, which is when the randomised swap packets will be put together and mailed out, so that everyone will receive their assortment in plenty of time before December 1st. I will probably save the rest of the origami papers in the package, the ones that I didn't use on the covers, for wrapping paper on all thirty-one of the gifts before the swap/exchange happens this autumn.

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Today I found out that my youngest nephew is coming to spend the summer here in Portland... He will be staying with one of his online friends, and plans on getting a job for a few months before returning back to college in the autumn. I hope he will enjoy his time here, have fun adventures with his friends, and maybe find some time to stop by and say hello to his old auntie...

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March SMART goals (x=extra)

#	THINGS MADE	THINGS FIXED	THINGS GONE
1	page 9	chore jacket snaps	recycle bin
2	strawberry needlekeeps	rain capelet neckline	yard waste bin
3	page 10	Stanley power strip	ceiling fan blades
4	page 11	pruned elderberry	more ceiling fan blades
5	-	-	yard waste bin
6	x	x	recycle bin
7	x	x	crocs of slip-n-fall
8	x	x	x
9	x	x	x
10	x	x	x
11	x	x	x
12	x	x	x
13	x	x	x
14	x	x	x
15	x	x	x

today's gratitudes -
1. new sewing machine needles, which will make the raincoat project just a tad easier
2. enough asparagus that I can make an asparagus quiche tomorrow
3. social time with friends

Time of Isolation - Day 1105

* "this night the sun and moon dance, and you and I dance, in the fire of which we are the logs, the matches, and the flames." - Marge Piercy

whew! and also yikes!

in which our plucky heroine dodges a bullet...

The last 24 hours have been awful, a wild ride, a bit much, and are not over yet.

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time in the tinyworld:

tiny tent closing toggles made from scraps of bone slab
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Really glad I had Dr O remove the sketchy mole with a punch biopsy last week, turns out it was squamous cell carcinoma and not a simple keratosis... Fortunately, as best I can interpret the MyChart report, it was fully removed: "The deep and peripheral margins are free of squamous cell carcinoma in the sections." and since I've not had a callback from the dermatology office, I am assuming that no additional treatment will be needed and that the results can be discussed when I go back to get my stitches out next week. I suspect I will need more frequent body checks going forward...

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~ creativity challenge ~

did a little checking on the fabric resource shelves, and there might be just enough of the brown brushed twill to make a jean jacket, depending on how much I will need to change the pattern to fit me. This color would be a great addition to my bridge season clothing. I figure that with luck I will only need two toiles, the first made up as is, to figure out where to make alterations, and the second to check those alterations work well. There are a few changes I would like to make if possible - add inseam pockets to the front, using one of the middle panel seams, and add a "motorcycle gusset" to the sleeve seam. This will be an interesting project.

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Another text in the wee hours before dawn let me know that the situation with Mom has only continued to devolve. She became so abusive that her caregiver quit last night. She tore the emergency call button out of the wall. Fortunately the care home is willing to move her to memory care today, instead of the planned move at the end of next week, and from what I read in the texts from my SIL, they seem unfazed by mom's dementia behavior. My heart is so broken as to be turning to gritty sand.

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June SMART goals (x=extra)

#	THINGS MADE	THINGS FIXED	THINGS GONE
1	Kestrel's friends clothes	replace clothesline	yard waste bin
2	tiny green flannel dress	repair Nandina overalls	recycle bin
3	individual cheesecake	sew buttons on blouse	yard waste bin
4	shirt for Kestrel	old mattress off bed	recycle bin
5	Kenya tiedye top	bed slats shorter	yard waste bin
6	baked custard	Nandina overall pockets	yard waste bin
7	tiny giraffe	move towel holder	recycle bin
8	three tiny mattresses	bedrails attached	x
9	x	slat mat completed	x
10	x	pinafore front pocket	x
11	x	back porch lightbulb	x
12	x	x	x
13	x	x	x
14	x	x	x
15	x	x	x

today's gratitude - that my house full of art supplies and tools keeps me from completely losing my grip on the end of my rope...

Time of Isolation - Day 832

interrupted naptime

When we left our plucky heroine yesterday, she was still waiting for a callback from the consulting nurse hotline......

It has been a day. Starting at a quarter to 2AM when the phone ringing jolted me out of the sleep I had finally found. I leapt awake as always fearing that middle of the night call meant some dire family emergency. Instead, it was the nurseline calling me back, fourteen hours after I joined the queue. Since I had already made an appointment to see a practitioner at the closest micro-clinic at their earliest morning time slot, the callback was actually not necessary. There was no way I could have contacted them to cancel my request, and quite frankly, I had given up on hearing from them, and never occurred to me that I would get a call in the wee small hours of the morning.

So, after only a few additional hours of sleep I ready to ride my bike to one of the local Express Care to see a doctor (well actually a nurse-practitioner)... Since it was forecast to be another excessively hot day, my plan was to get my oddly reactive bug bite examined, and go hide at home away from the hot yellow daystar. It turns out that the little storefront almost but not quite Urgent Care clinics are just the right sort of thing. I was mightily impressed with the option of making an appointment online for that day/next day, and certainly the care was good. Being able to walk in with no waiting for hours in a room full of people, being seen quickly and then on my way (to the pharmacy) This seemed a good model for things not overly complex, of a level of care just below the big urgent care or ER, but quicker than getting an appointment several months later at primary care. Would that all neighborhoods had something similar. (This is part of the Providence system, so ties in directly with my other medical care)

Tomorrow I will put together a bid for Vasalisa, who would like me to create an enamel medallion for her husband Bjorn, who recently was awarded membership in the Order of the Grey Goose Shaft, in recognition of his activity in the archery community. I have never made that regalia, so it will be a challenge. I have also had a few other contacts today, one about an unusual sewing job, and one about helping a friend repair a particularly significant ring. Never dull here at Acorn Cottage!

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time in the tinyworld:

I ran across a British TV series that may be of interest to folks here... "The Great Big Tiny Design Challenge"... teams of miniaturists compete to create rooms, it is fun to watch in the same overall style as Great British Baking shows. Access online is difficult but I have found a few full episodes here and there. Here is a preview:

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The worst part of the day was that several hours after a perfectly calm phone conversation* with my mom, I was almost asleep for a very needed nap when the phone rang again and it was Mom calling me again, agitated, angry and threatening self-harm. (Mom has dementia and is in a care facility thousands of miles from where I live) While this is the first time she has called me in the middle of one of these "storms" apparently this has been a daily occurrence for both my sister and my sister-in-law. It was awful, because since she is no longer rational, there is no way to calm her, especially over the phone. Eventually the nurse arrived on the scene there, called by Mom's caregiver, and I was able to hang up. Later messages let us know that situation had been defused. This is heartbreaking. Dementia is an evil set of diseases that steals those we love.

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~ creativity challenge ~

Sewed small snaps onto squares of muslin, and then sewed the squares on the tent canvas in a way that allowed the cloth to anchor around the dowels that form part of the tent frame. Trying to decide if my tent also needs tiny toggles and loops to hold the doors closed... I found some thin silk ribbon that could become loops. Maybe attempting to make tiny toggles would be a start? but what to try and make them from?? Three more days until the end of the Tiny Pennsic Shelter Challenge.

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June SMART goals (x=extra)

#	THINGS MADE	THINGS FIXED	THINGS GONE
1	Kestrel's friends clothes	replace clothesline	yard waste bin
2	tiny green flannel dress	repair Nandina overalls	recycle bin
3	individual cheesecake	sew buttons on blouse	yard waste bin
4	shirt for Kestrel	old mattress off bed	recycle bin
5	Kenya tiedye top	bed slats shorter	yard waste bin
6	baked custard	Nandina overall pockets	yard waste bin
7	tiny giraffe	move towel holder	recycle bin
8	three tiny mattresses	bedrails attached	x
9	x	slat mat completed	x
10	x	pinafore front pocket	x
11	x	x	x
12	x	x	x
13	x	x	x
14	x	x	x
15	x	x	x

today's gratitude - dear M had the time to listen to me for a good long time and help me come back to myself after the awful phone call. And sister is going to send me a whole packet of Mom's writings (poetry and essays) that I will be archivist for. Over time I will sort them out both chronologically and by topics, in the hope of printing out some small pamphlets of her work to share with siblings and their children. My hope is that in reading through these I will be able to remember Former Mom, before dementia stole her away. I miss her dreadfully, her sense of whimsy and the absurd, and her kind and thoughtful interest in all of us.

Time of Isolation - Day 830

Monday miscellany

in which our plucky heroine thinks long thoughts...

I want there to be new holidays, different holidays, ones that are not Hallmark holidays. This last weekend with all the Father's Day foo rah rah was actively painful. Which got me thinking about holidays, their functions as both social glue, and as a way of placing ourselves in time, that the circles of the year are full of signposts, and it would be a good thing if those signposts were richly full of significance instead of primarily slathered in shopping related token artifacts. That I don't know what different holidays would be like is a symptom, I think. And I miss most dreadfully those anchor points of the Before Times now gone, the festivals and events that were the framework of my personal year...

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time in the tinyworld:

Ropes have been added to the Norse long tent framework. Hemp cord standing in for manila rope, four taut line hitches serve to tighten the ropes that hold the framework stable. Nandina is getting quite a bit of campcraft experience...

This week I plan on working on the cloth "tent canvas". After sorting through my various scrap bits of cotton muslin and plain linen, I chose a piece of unbleached cotton/linen. Now to mull over how best to attach the cloth to the framework... hmmm....

Also thinking about decorating either of the tent fabric, and/or the wooden framework poles. Tent fabric could be painted? wood might have pyrography? While my own pavilion has carved animal head finials, it would be difficult to do woodcarving on such thin wood as makes up this frame. Then my pal Liutgard suggested kolrosing. I promptly began sorting through the rubbish bin in the workshop for the small offcuts from making the tent framework, in order to make some samples...

Since the challenge is for the shelter and specifically not for the interior, I will be focusing on getting the tent itself completed by the end of the month deadline. I am already having plenty of ideas for how to furnish their tiny encampment: suitable bedding, a little ice chest, benches for seating, a fire pit (maybe with fire cooking tools), etc. They definitely need a banner, and I'm thinking that one of my own SCA badges would be suitable heraldry for a banner, as Nandina et al are part of my household

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Sigh... mom has not been settling in well at the care home. Though she sounded okay when I spoke with her earlier today, later today when sister spoke with her she was very agitated and angry. Sister phoned me afterwards and I spent about an hour discussing, commiserating, and being supportive.  And she is going to be moved to the memory care unit probably in ten days, so that will be another adjustment for her, with additional disturbance and disruption, which will probably exacerbate her dementia. I have been trying to do research online about how to deal with the situation, which is incredibly common. It can often take several months for people with dementia to adjust, if they ever do, to their reduced circumstances (moving from independent living to assisted living, from assisted living to memory care) the care that keeps them safe and healthy is a constant reminder of the freedom they don't have and the aging that cannot be reversed. I know I would hate to be in such a situation, but need to remind myself that my mental state is not her mental state. And mom has not been "happy" for many many years, not just since the move. And I kept telling her it was normal to be unhappy after losing a spouse after 68 years of marriage, and that we were all sad. I know she keeps saying that she "hates it there" but there is no other option. There is no way for her to get from there to here, and none of us have the strength to do physical caregiving. Still, I cry. And I feel badly that I am not there to help more...

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June SMART goals (x=extra)

#	THINGS MADE	THINGS FIXED	THINGS GONE
1	Kestrel's friends clothes	replace clothesline	yard waste bin
2	tiny green flannel dress	repair Nandina overalls	recycle bin
3	individual cheesecake	sew buttons on blouse	yard waste bin
4	shirt for Kestrel	old mattress off bed	recycle bin
5	Kenya tiedye top	bed slats shorter	yard waste bin
6	baked custard	Nandina overall pockets	-
7	tiny giraffe	move towel holder	x
8	x	bedrails attached	x
9	x	slat mat completed	x
10	x	pinafore front pocket	x
11	x	x	x
12	x	x	x
13	x	x	x
14	x	x	x
15	x	x	x

today's gratitude - today it was warm enough and dry enough to hang the laundry on the clothesline. Usually I start doing that a lot earlier in the year.

Time of Isolation - Day 825

Saturday snippets

in which our plucky heroine stays indoors on a rainy day...

I can't remember the last time I stayed up reading a book because I just didn't want to stop reading it because I liked it so much. The Midnight Library. But now I've finished, and I really do need to try and sleep... woke up after 4 hours of sleep, which is not enough. Managed to get back to sleep even though it was "daytime" and after another almost 4 I feel rested. Maybe have finally recovered from my lack of sleep on my trip back east.

There are masses of housey projects that need done, everything from daily/weekly chores, to intensive declutter and reorganisation of food/supplies/tools, to repair and refurbishment of infrastructure. It feels overwhelming to even begin, but as the saying goes: "If it is to be, it is up to me..."

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time in the tinyworld:

Almost finished with the extended set of clothing for Kestrel's tinies. Trying to decide what next to work on for the denizens and infrastructure of Tansu Terrace. The stonework needs painted, would be an easy project. I'm also tempted to order ordering a few more of the little paper plant kits, because they are so much fun to put together. I've the instructions I downloaded for an embroidered armchair designed by HoneyThistle. The larger projects are working on Caer Cardboard, and starting on the Tudor Cottage. Most of all I want to gather all the completed miniatures, and all the supplies into an organised set of storage containers so all will be easy to find!

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Hmmmph! I thought that the two buttons that fell off my blouse had worn through the threads somehow. Nope. The threads sawed through the center of the antler buttons instead. The center of the buttons is the more spongy part of the antler slices, with the edges being the nice hard polished outer layer. Since those buttons are no longer useable as buttons*I removed the spare ones I sew at the lower sides and stitched those in place instead.

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June SMART goals (x=extra)

#	THINGS MADE	THINGS FIXED	THINGS GONE
1	Kestrel's friends clothes	replace clothesline	yard waste bin
2	tiny green flannel dress	repair Nandina overalls	recycle bin
3	-	sew buttons on blouse	-
4	-	-	-
5	-	-	-
6	-	-	-
7	x	-	x
8	x	-	x
9	x	x	x
10	x	x	x
11	x	x	x
12	x	x	x
13	x	x	x
14	x	x	x
15	x	x	x

today's gratitude - My delightful sister-in-law gave me some new kitchen towels as a just because gift while I was staying with them. Rainbow fireflies for-the-win!!

Time of Isolation - Day 810

* the no-longer-buttons are going into the box of potential dollhouse things. They may become serving plates of a particularly woodland style...