Tuesday thoughts

in which our plucky heroine struggles...

It has been a difficult day, full of brain weasels. I do my best to share and document the good here, rather than the opposite. But some days for no obvious reason that purposeful focus just isn't enough. Spent way too much time today entangled in the thought that what my life is missing, that what I wanted/want and cannot/do not have in my life is my own fault. That I must not have really wanted it enough. That rather than being a matter of un-luck it is really a matter of lifelong somehow sabotaging myself. I remind myself of all that is good and fortunate in my current life, but solitude still remains painful.

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~ made to be used ~

Years ago there was a trip to Italy, Yugoslavia, and Greece, with many memorable moments, and a modicum of confusions brought about by my dependence on a Serbo-Croatian travel phrase book for the central third of our journey. My attempt to buy a metre of pretty eyelet trim from a shop ended with my unintentionally purchasing the entire 18 metre bolt instead, and it has been an amusing tale and souvenir ever since... Rather than save it unused for some future estate sale, a portion of those metres will trim the hemline of what once was a grey and white striped everyday dress, now in the process of conversion to a Brambly Hedge slip. The dress is no longer a favorite, though mostly in good condition; by removing the sleeves and cutting away much of the armscye and neckline areas and then making edgebinding from the sleeve fabric, it will become a useful under-layer for both winter cold weather and for "costume" fun. 

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Every time that I can go outside and pick fresh blueberries in my yard is a bit of daily dopamine. The plant was a gift, and I managed to not kill it for the last 20+ years. More blueberries this year than in times past, maybe my pruning last year was correctly done?

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When heading for the grocery earlier today seeking some goat or sheep feta, I saw a postie in their van eating lunch. I asked if I could just hand them my stamped envelopes rather than bike all the way down the hill to the post office, and was grateful and appreciative when they said "sure!", saving me several miles of riding. 

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July SMART goals (x=extra)

#	THINGS MADE	THINGS FIXED	THINGS GONE
1	15 tiny masu boxes	earrings recombined	greenwaste bin
2	black scarf hem	replace C O alarm	-
3	-	-	-
4	-	-	-
5	-	-	-
6	x	x	x
7	x	x	x
8	x	x	x
9	x	x	x

today's gratitudes- 
- finally finding the right project to use souvenir eyelet edging
- forgot to mention that the rolled hem on the black scarf is done
- agreeable postie saved me a hilly bike ride in the heat of the day
- homegrown blueberries in my breakfast museli

Time of Isolation - Day 2186