overalls

Today is Crafternoon, and I'll be changing my clothing after mornings prep and errands (why do I always forget to pick up some tea milk?), but for a change I am wearing my only trousers, this aged pair of overalls... Worn over black velour leggings, and a fun MunkiMunki print knit top, with a handknit light blue wool scarf. Add a heavy sweater, and swap out my handknit hat for a bike helmet, and I'll be ready to run to the grocery store.

Why the overalls this morning? It is dry enough for bike-riding, but not warm enough for one layer on my legs to be warm enough. The jumper will have to wait till errands are finished. After my several days of woods-walking last month, I decided that new overalls are necessary; that will be the next sewing-for-me project, taking a pattern from these and stitching up some new ones.

~ ~ ~≈:::≈~ ~ ~

Is feeling happy so foreign to me that it has shaken my equilibrium? perhaps... There is always a sense that if things are going well that the end is just around the corner. Decades ago, in college for the first time, I remember reading a book titled The Wisdom of Insecurity - don't remember the content, but am quite familiar with the Buddhist idea of samsara, and that everything changes. This belief is somehow less comforting, though no less true, when things are going well.

My disequilibrium has also been fueled by internet reading, there is a lot of information out there about possible near futures, and none of it looks like a lot of fun. A lot of it looks frightening. I'm not looking for reassurance about benign reality, I'm pretty aware that though times are somewhat difficult right now, life is still pretty much okay right here, right now.

My intention is to continue to act towards a sustainable life, to learn better how to garden, to further improve the infrastructure of my little city cottage, to build community with friends and neighbors, to do better at self-care... in short to continue my efforts to build a life that makes sense to me. My action is to savor as fulsomely as possible the delights that come my way, with a poignant sense of ephemerality. Maybe this feeling is just a function of my age and personality, but there is a scent of the wind that is disturbing, like when there were wildfires in Idaho, and we waited with packed vehicles and the radio on, to find out if it was time to leave. We could smell the smoke...