Thursday, November 5, 2020

enervation

in which our plucky heroine feels depleted...

I get that everyone is tired, and worried, and wishes things were different. And I try to not spread gloom and despair, but make great effort to look for small bits of beauty and kindness and share than instead. But gosh on days like today I just feel like there is an anvil on top of me crushing my spirit.

I'm not giving up, because this is our life now, all of us.

But there are days where the tears are right on the other side of my eyes. Days when I cannot watch a music video, because there are all those past pixel people being actually together creating joy, and the brightness in their faces cracks my heart. Days when the good memories shatter rather than sustain. Days when gravity is much heavier than earth normal. Days when the knot at the end of my rope is the only thing keeping me here.

today's gratitude - I hang on with all my strength to the knowledge that there are people in my life who love me, precious friends, and family, and a few four-legged folks...

a younger me, nine years ago, before the cancer journey,
when my
wellspring of love burned with a clear flame...

5 comments:

  1. You use lovely words to express your pain and despair. That is a gift to your readers, and to the universe.

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    1. Aww thanks Carol... Life is a challenge at times, but worth the effort

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  2. Thank you for the wonder, and the honesty I read in your blog. May the dawn bring a new lightness today.

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    1. I appreciate your good wishes and am glad you are enjoying my blog! I don't think I have seen you here before, so be welcome!!

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  3. Sending you a big, warm hug, Alison. Keep the faith - we will get to the other side of this and will be reunited with friends and family. I share your tears, but there will be lightness again! Your words are beautiful.

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